Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho? Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain |
Wife: If I die what will u do? Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga! Wife: Will u marry again after I die? Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai! |
Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar AA raha hai.... ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de. Mom: tera dost chor hai kya? Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan le ga |
Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar kar ke, Ghar ja raha tha ke achanak bijli, Chamki, Badal garje, Zor se barish shuru hoi, Aadmi bola lagta hai pahunch gai. |
lady drinking coke, machar falls in . lady take it out , machar says ;maaa lady ask why u did u call me maaaa machar says mien teri kook(COKE) se nikla hon maaaaaaaaaa |
kal main ne hawksbay per dekkha, 4 addmi ne eik saat sumander main chalang lagaye magar sirf eik ke baal gheley howe. ye kase mumkin hai baqi 3 ganje they |
Teacher:Bachon wada kro kabhi sharab,cigrette nahi piyo ge Bachey:Nahi piyenge Teacher:Girls ka peecha nai karoge Bachey:Nahi karenge Teacher:Unn par awaaze nai kaso ge Bachey: nahi kasenge Teacher:Watan par zindigi qurbaan karo ge Bachey:Kardenge,aesi zindigi ka karna bhi kya hai.. |
Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it. Raju:No ma"m! I will not be able to attend it. Teacher :Why? Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so farr !! |
Baap Beti Se , Pehle Tum Mujh Ko Papa Kahte The Ab Dady Kuyn Kahti Ho , Kiya Wajah Hai ? Beti : Papa Kahne Se Lipstick Jo Kharab Hoo Jate Hai |
one day dog dancing madly on the merage of lion lion ask y r u dancing madly dog said i am also lion before merrage.... |
Teacher: "LOVE" kia Hai Ali: Sir "L" ko pakar k "O" ko duba k "V" main Ghusa k jab "E" ki Awaz aye to usay "LOVE" kehtay hain |
Explain The word "AUTOMATICALLY" ....Nahe pata i"ll xplain... ager koi ganji ladki auto mein bethi ho to use kehte hain auto_mein_takli |
2 Ghadhe{Donky}Apas Main Bateen Kar Rahe Thay.1st Yar Mera Malik Bohat Zalim Hay.Bohat Marta Hay Kaam B Zyada Leta Hay.2ndto Tum Bhag Jao Na Is Ko Chood Ke.1st Yar Bhag To Jaon Per Ik Waja Se Ruka Hoon. Mera Malik Jab B Apni BETI Se Ladayi Karta Hay Na. To Us Ko Ye Kehta Hy Ke Beti Tum Sudher Jao Warna Main Ney Teri Shadi GADHE Se Kar Deni Hay.. |
Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg . Then,what is my age? STUDENT:32 yrs. Teacher:How do you know? STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad |
Teacher :Because of Gandhiji"s hard work what do we get on 15th August. Student:A HOLIDAY |
A Family Saw ""Sholay"" Movie Came Back Home And Husband Romantically Said To Wife "" Nach Basanti Nach"" Child Added ""Nahin Basanti Is Kute K Samne Mat Nachna"" |
FATHER: How Are Your Grades, Son? SON: Under Water, Dad. FATHER: Under Water? What Do You Mean? SON: They"Re Below C Level |
Costomer- Whose Eggs Is This Shopkeeper - Its Mine Costomer - Ok So Give Me One Dozen Of Chicken S Eggs |
Wife - Suniye Kya Aap Kitchen Se Garam Masala La Kar Aayenge Husband - Magar Yahan To Nahin Hai Wife - Mujha Pata Tha Tumha Nahin Mila Ge Is Liya Main Pehla Se Le Aayi Baghwan!!!!!!!! |
Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa Baajo Walay Ghar Say Doctor Ko Bula Ke Laa, Meri Tabiat Kharab Ho Reli Hai. Circuit: Aey Bhai ! Aap To Khud Doctor Ho. Munna: Bolay To Meri Fees Buhat Zyada Hai |
Naukarani: Malkan Ap Udaas Kyun Hai Malkan: Tumhare Sahab Office Ki Kisi Larki Se Payyar Karte Hai Naukarani: Nahiiiiin, Sahab Mujhe Dokha Nahi De Sakte |
Husband Aur Wife Hotel Me Gaye Tabhi 1 Lady Ne Hello Kiya, Wife- Koun Thi Wo? Hus-Tum Dimag Kharab Mat Karo, Main Pehle Hi Pareshan Hu Ki Woh Bhi Yehi Puchegi. |
Rizwan: Doctor say help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta. Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai? Rizwan: Phone karte waqt |
Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can"t understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No. |
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. Student: The future tense is "You will go to jail". |
Man said passionately: Will you marry me? My father is a millionaire and 93 years old. He is going to die soon and then I shall be very very rich. What do you say? She said nothing but a week later, she became his mother! |
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn`t come back yet! Santa: Why don`t u cook something else. |
PHILOSOPHY : small things hurt a lot Example : u can sit on a mountain but not on a pin... |
Teacher:"Now,children,if I saw a man beating a donkey n stopped him,wht virtue wuld I be showing?" Student:"Brotherly love |
Teacher: 3 girls are walking in the road. Turn the sentence in to exclamitory. student: WOW! |
Software Engineer Husband
Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife - hae Mere Allah !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card,
i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.
Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to
Reboot.
Wife - what is the relation between you & your
Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - i will go to my dad’s house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will
Close.
Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.
Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer.
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